The Virtue of Narcissism
A culture that creates and rewards self-obsession
Virtue; noun: an excellent trait of character.
Narcissism; noun: excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance.
Narcissus is a figure from Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Naturally, this one-way relationship went nowhere, and Narcissus, unable to draw himself away from the pool, pined away in despair until he finally died of thirst and starvation. — The Tale of Narcissus, Mark Cartwright
Narcissism has become a primary value of modern-day culture. Once the domain of models and actresses — it has fast become the norm for all. Being relevant means uploading images of yourself and hoping that a lot of people think you look good. The very concept of a shameless selfie has been stripped of its ironic undertones. It is no longer seen as slightly conceited, or even a sign of self-obsession — it is totally normal. We’re all self-obsessed. Everyone does it. The more one does it, the more validation people give. We applaud people for the photos they put up of their body parts. We comment on how attractive they are. We rate them with our likes and attention, even if we think otherwise.
“You look fire babe”
“Did you see that photo she posted? Brave.”
Much of the social media content of today resembles what I might have done alone in front of the mirror at age 13. I would have died of embarrassment if someone caught me pouting, winking or being flirtatious with nothing but my own reflection— and it’s safe to say I would have copped an enormous amount of flack for being caught. This kind of posing, however, is no longer reserved for paid professionals or the privacy of a one-way mirror, it is accepted content from everyone.
What’s The Harm In Selfies?
A recent study has shown that excessive use of social media, specifically posting images and selfies, is associated with a subsequent increase in narcissism. It discovered that not only are narcissists more drawn to posting on social media, but it actually creates narcissistic tendencies. If this seems shocking, we have only to look at a definition of narcissism to better understand how our social media use might be turning us into one.
Narcissism is defined as:
“Being extremely self-centred with an exaggerated sense of self-importance and having the characteristic of excessive admiration or infatuation with oneself.”
Doesn’t this just sound like a formula for social media success?
Social media has normalised the desire for excessive social validation. It no longer seems manic to expect hundreds of people to regularly comment on how fantastic you are. Even the idea of seeking out and accepting ‘followers’ imprints on us the sense that we are something akin to Jesus himself, spreading the word of our desirability over any other kind of virtue.
These platforms reinforce that what is most important is the external; the things we can take pictures of and use as clear signals of our success. It allows us to dehumanise each other, to see each other as shallow amalgamations of body parts, consumer goods and ideas. What we’re doing might be labeled as ‘sharing’, or ‘posting’ but often what we’re doing is signalling that we are worthy, that we are worth envying.
Engaging with social media evokes in us the same kinds of behaviours and traits a person with narcissism is likely to have.
For example, those that live with Narcissistic Personality Disorder;
- Constantly seek admiration from other people and society as a whole.
- Have a grandiose sense of self-importance.
- Become fixated on external success.
- Lack the ability to empathise.
- Appear confident but are often deeply insecure.
- Envy others or believe they’re envious of them.
Influential Narcissists
The power of social media is becoming increasingly apparent to us. We now know it can swing elections, interfere with the quality of our relationships and manifest real-life trends- so it seems worthwhile to analyse the kinds of people and behaviours that are most rewarded across these platforms.
Some of the most celebrated and successful online personalities — those who are having the largest influence on society — are also the most narcissistic. A quick glance at the top charts for Instagram reveals that two members of the Kardashian family reign supreme.
Kylie Jenner- 240 million followers
The youngest member of the Kardashian-Jenner family, Kylie Jenner, has shaped the faces of girls and women across the globe. In 2015, after admitting to undergoing lip enhancements at the age of 16, lip filler requests went up 70% and within 24 hours, Google searches for lip filler peaked globally.
“I saw a new trend of younger women who suddenly felt empowered to unapologetically want to look more beautiful…. Kylie singlehandedly gave a whole generation the ticket to a more enhanced version of themselves,”- Dr. Simon Ourian, the plastic surgeon responsible for Kylie’s lips.
These younger women felt so empowered to enhance themselves, they took matters into their own hands in what became known as the #KylieJennerLipChallenge.
“The new trend in trying to DIY lip plumping is quite concerning. Not only can significant pain, swelling, and bruising result from these suction techniques, but there is potential risk for scarring and permanent disfigurement with repeated attempts.”- Dr. Dendy Engelman, a board certified dermatologic surgeon who seems to actually care about young women.
In 2015, Kylie launched her brand ‘Kylie Cosmetics’ valued at $1.2 billion. She is set to become the world’s youngest self-made billionaire.
Kim Kardashian- 230 million followers
Popularly known as the ‘selfie queen’, no other social media influencer embodies the narcissistic qualities our culture seems so fascinated by — some might even suggest that it was Kim who set the stage for a lot of the unapologetic ‘selfishnesss’ that our image crazed culture lives for today. It seems humility and virtue are nothing in the face of brazen self-assurance and posturing.
What Are You Looking At?
We now scan hundreds of photos of people that we don’t know, that we will never meet, and weigh in on their attempts to be desirable. We are addicted to their vanity, looking at one image and video to the next. If we actually described what we are spending so much time looking at — it sounds perverse, at the very least utterly absurd.
Hours of human attention is now absorbed in watching videos of people dancing in midriffs, lip-syncing, jumping in and out of clothes, twerking or close up faces with sparkly filters. It has become as widespread and as addictive as pornography.
A rough but quite reliable metric for success is: The more skin exposed, the more social validation given, and it isn’t necessarily men who are drawn to this kind of content. The body-focused images on social media have devastating effects on younger women at risk of developing disordered behaviours. The natural human instinct for social comparison has been highjacked by marketing teams and a narcissistic culture. Is it any wonder that 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting, given how much free time is spent measuring-in on other peoples online appearances?
“Our narcissistic culture has turned us into a nation of body-image ‘junkies’. We are ruthlessly polluting, exploiting, and remaking our most intimate environment — the human body.” — Andrew Kimbrell
The proliferation of narcissistic behaviours through social media has tangible effects on how we act in the real world, the things we set our minds to, and the values we adopt. The rising rates of depression and anxiety in the West might suggest that we are starved for real human connection and meaning.
Unable to detach from the virtual mirror, the constant need to document ourselves and validate our worth through social media is breeding grounds for a narcissistic culture that makes us deeply unhappy.
Take a Real Look in the Mirror
- Go through the people you follow on social media platforms — list and categorise the reasons why you are following them; lifestyle, fashion, aesthetics, beauty, hobbies, political views etc. What is it exactly that they are trying to influence you of? What kind of values or behaviours do they promote?
- Look at the photos you have posted, what were you trying to communicate to the world? Do they reflect your values? Or better yet, what do they say about your values?
- Think about how much of your finite attention is given to judging how attractive people are online.
This will be the most photographed generation in history and all for the sake of vanity. It’s really sad. — Central Iowa man (2016)
Vanity is a vice, not a virtue, and the people we model ourselves off shouldn’t be narcissists. Let’s replace the concern we have about the way we look, with concern for a society so obsessed with its own reflection, it starved itself.
